The 7 Biggest Mistakes Homeschoolers Make
When I first decided to homeschool, I read every book on homeschooling and parenting I could get my hands on. I already had a teaching degree and principal certification, so I am definitely qualified…right?
It turned out, I had to change my thinking on some of the things I learned in “teacher school” in order to succeed as a homeschooling mother. One of the most important parts about homeschooling is knowing your child and yourself and using that knowledge to shape how you teach them.
No one told me that.
I assumed that all I needed was the right curriculum and resources. I already knew the grade-level standards. I thought I was set.
Until I wasn’t.
I once called a wise aunt (who had homeschooled her own children) in tears because my child was not on target in math and was diagnosed with learning disabilities. I felt like I was failing. She reminded me of the fact that I know him, he can take longer to learn something and still be okay, and he is intelligent in other ways. I was trying to fit my child into the hypothetical box. I wanted to be able to check the boxes on learning standards and move up on Bloom’s Taxonomy. This stopped me in my tracks.
This was one of the many lessons I learned on this journey of teaching my four kiddos.
I hope you can learn from my lessons too.
1. Letting the curriculum rule over you
Think you have to finish every problem in every lesson?
No, you don’t. You know your child. If your child knows the material, skip it! There is not need to kill the love of learning by making them do superfluous worksheets.
Think you have to get the entire curriculum done by the end of the year?
No, you don’t! Curriculum publishers often add up to 30% extra content to curriculum, no one has to finish it all.
Think every concept in the textbook is required right now?
No, it’s not. Ask yourself this, “does it matter if it takes my child 2 more years to master this concept?” Children learn at different rates, there is no need to waste energy on a hopeless issue if they can’t get it after you have worked it and explained it to death. Skip it. Come back to it another time…and don’t feel bad about it.
All worksheets and lesson plans were written by someone somewhere for a hypothetical child. Nothing was created specifically for your child; that’s why you are in charge. You can change, edit, remove, and do whatever is necessary to help your children learn.
Remember…You are the mom. The teacher. The principal. The CEO of your homeschool! You make the decisions based on the good of the child and the best thing for your family. If that means drawing an “X” over a couple of lessons that you think aren’t well-made, adding something else, or switching mid-lesson, do it.
2. Comparing Your Child to other children
God created your children and God created you. None of this was an accident.
Your child has strengths, weaknesses, spiritual abilities, and academic abilities unique to him or her. You will always find a child that can do something better than your child. Your goal is to raise them in “the way they should go”.
Think about it like this. Would you cut off your ear and replace it with your foot? What good would that do? All members of our body have a specific purpose, just like all members of the body of Christ have a specific purpose, just like all members of society have a specific purpose.
And a person’s body has more than one part. It has many parts. The foot might say, “I am not a hand, so I don’t belong to the body.” But saying this would not stop the foot from being a part of the body. The ear might say, “I am not an eye, so I don’t belong to the body.” But saying this would not make the ear stop being a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, it would not be able to hear. If the whole body were an ear, it would not be able to smell anything.
1 Corinthians 12:14-17 ERV
3. Letting Yourself Get Stuck
Sometimes, the math we chose for a child just isn’t working.
Sometimes, the schedule we have is a mess.
Sometimes, we sign up for too many activities.
You do not have to stay stuck. Throw out the math (try something else), re-arrange the schedule, and say “no” to the activities.
Many times, homeschool moms jump in with two feet (nothing wrong with that) only to realize it is just too deep. The beauty of homeschool is, you can change it at any time.
Pray over it.
Ask for advice.
Stop beating yourself up.
Sleep on it.
Then, make some changes. You will be glad you did.
4. Trying to be more like school kids
Ask any veteran school mom and they can probably tell you that there was a time when a school kid came along and made them feel like they forgot something.
Oh shoot, we didn’t cover Charles Lindbergh this year.
Wait, your kids are learning angles in math?
I can tell you right now, no person on this earth will learn everything there is to know in school. When it comes to homeschooled kids, they tend to learn subjects deeper than their school-kid counterparts, but maybe not as many topics.
Read some stats on homeschooled kids and feel better about life.
So, stick to your plans and teach your kids. If you want to throw in a biography on Lindbergh and some lessons on angles for good measure, go for it.
5. Forgetting that Mistakes are when we grow
Your child is going to mess up sometimes. They are going to struggle sometimes.
You are going to teach that beautiful, well-planned, thought out lesson on multiplying fractions… your child is going to listen and seem to understand, and then…
forget the next day.
Or maybe you teach your child allllllll about compound and complex sentences in every possible way you can explain it and…
He still doesn’t understand.
We have all been there. The struggle is real.
The truth is, some skills take awhile and it really depends on the skill and the kid. If your child doesn’t have a mind built for that skill, it may take time, patience, multiple lessons, manipulatives, a different way of looking at it, a week to process, and a possibly even a different person teaching it…to get it. Hang in there. Give it time. Then, try again.
6. Setting Our Standards Really High
What did the moms of old do all day after they sent their kids off to school and told the cook what to make for dinner?
Here I am trying to vacuum and read aloud to my kids at the same time!
Okay, not really. Although I always tell my husband that there could be 4 of me and I still wouldn’t get everything done.
My job feels impossible at times.
I believe God created us to be in a community, to take care of each other, and to help each other out. In today’s day, that is very difficult. Sure, we may get some meals after we have a baby or a surgery, but the reality is, we are mostly on our own.
Knowing this, don’t get discouraged when the laundry sits on the couch for 3 days. Don’t beat yourself up when someone stops by and your house is a mess. This is real life. Put the first things first.
Before you get lost in that heaping pile of laundry, remember you are a mom on a mission. Here are some tips to help get it done:
—The kids are part of the family. Have them help. Give them chores. They can do more than you realize. Remember what Laura Ingalls Wilder had to do! A good starting place is to tell them what chores you need help with and allow them to pick what they would like to do.
—Plan. Plan. Plan. Plan meals for the week (have the kids cook sometimes), Plan school. Have a calendar. Take stuff out of your life that adds clutter (too much social media?)
—Give yourself a RESET day. Because you can. Even school teachers have in-school work days in the middle of the calendar year. So, call off school for the day. Get everything reset. Clean the house, do the laundry, bake, cook ahead, make plans, take a break. Do what you need to do to reset. You are the mom. You need it. So do they.
7. Share, don't shove knowledge
I hated history in high school. Mostly because my history teacher spit when she talked and cared more about essays and outlines then the real story of history. I got a “D” in her class. I told everyone “I HATE history.”
Cut to my time in college, I had an amazing professor who shared his love of history in ways that made the stories come alive. He even showed up to class once wearing a full suit of armor. I started to really enjoy learning it. I ended up getting a minor in history and teaching high school world history for a time.
The point is…a teacher or teaching method can make or break a child’s perception of a subject. Not always. But it is possible to kill the learning experience by forcing busy work or tedious assignments, using a confusing method, or (worse) hating the subject yourself and passing it on to the kids.
When we reflect on positive learning experiences, we think of things like learning to bake with a grandmother who enjoyed baking or working on cars with a father skilled in that area.
Sharing a learning experience makes all the difference. Do the things you love with your children.
And for everyone’s sake, if you hate a subject, outsource it to someone who doesn’t.
Homeschooling takes a lot of patience and prayer.
Don’t put yourself (or your children) in a box. You are unique. Your child is unique. Figure out what they are good at. Teach them what you are good at.
Enjoy the journey of learning together.
This will make all the struggles worth it.
♥ Melanie
